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No Way! No Growing Marriage Allow These

James 3 & 4 teach that there are four incompatible characteristics of healthy marriages:

  • blessing tongue vs cursing tongue. (James 3:9-10) James says how can you curse at your spouse on Friday and worship on Sunday? The answer isn’t to stop worshipping.
  • earthly wisdom vs heavenly wisdom. (James 3:13, 15, 17). Common sense is not always biblical wisdom. There are plenty of common sense values in our world today that aren’t biblical. Our world says you need to live together, sleep together to see if you are compatible, but that’s not biblical wisdom. Often times, biblical wisdom is counter-cultural.
  • faithfulness to God vs unfaithfulness to God. (James 4:3-5). It seems to be offensive, at least to me, to call someone an adulterous person. Contextually, faithfulness to God or being a friend to God is connected to controlling my tongue, applying biblical wisdom, ruling my desires, and cultivating humility. A spiritual adulterer looks great on the outside. He may raise his hands in worship, she may be able to find obscure books of the Bible, he can explain doctrinal nuances, but if he is proud, if her tongue sparks fires – we are spiritual adulterers.
  • humility vs. pride. (James 4:6). One pastor said: “Pride is not just a sin, but a sinful mother; a sinful orientation that gives birth to more sins.” Pride leads to lying. You tell a lie because you are too proud to admit you were wrong or you did something wrong. But the problem is so much bigger. Pride doesn’t just tell lies; it is a lie. Why? Pride is self-obsession; pride is preoccupation with ourselves. It says I am worth something. It is an orientation that assumes that everything revolves around us.” (Jason Meyer)

Brothers and sisters of Grace Life, may we kill these incompatible characteristics of healthy marriages. If you missed the message and would like to listen to it, you can do so:

 

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